The Brilliant Dance
by TowMondler
Summary: Monica has moved away and reflects on what has gone wrong- this is a horrible summary, just read it
1. The Brilliant Dance

So I'm kind of depressed today cause I had a horrible, no good day, and the rain isn't making it any better, and so I was in the mood for some good depressing music and thought I would write a fic to go along with it. You have been warned that this isn't a happy-go-lucky fic. At least the first chapter isn't. The song is by the amazing Dashboard Confessional. Please make my day better and review. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

Monica let the rain fall down and made no attempt to quicken her pace or try to cover herself from it. She glanced up at the angry sky. It matched her mood. The rain made her tears invisible and so she let herself cry in public. Something that she rarely ever did. Her clothing was soaked through and she shivered for a variety of reasons including the cold wind that whipped the rain so that it stung as it pounded against her cheek. But more importantly, she had remembered that her apartment would be empty when she got back. Empty. As in no one there. Before back in her old life, her apartment would have always had someone there. One of her friends or her husband or......her husband. He was only one of the reasons that the tears were falling freely. She spotted her apartment building and walked into the dry lobby. She wiped the tears and rain from her face and pressed the elevator button. The doorman smiled at her. 

"Caught in the rain Ms. Geller?" She managed a slight nod of the head. 

"I'm not used to these sudden downpours," she told him. "It doesn't rain like this in New York."

"Well, we are known for our rain," Henry reminded her with a smile. She forced a smile. 

"Yes, you are." The elevator arrived and she stepped on and leaned her head against the wall and waited until it opened on her floor and stepped out and rummaged for her key. She peeled off her soaked coat and hung it up as she took off her shoes and stuck them in the closet by the door and then walked back to her bathroom and grabbed a fluffy, white towel. Monica took off her wet clothes and turned the shower on and waited until it was warm before climbing in and beginning to cry again. 

"When did it get this hard?" She asked out loud. There was no one to answer, because there was no one there. No one in Seattle. Her friends were all back in New York with her husband. 

"Ex," she told herself. "He's your ex." She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body and went into her bedroom to grab clean clothes and then grabbed a magazine and went into the living room. Her apartment in New York had been wonderful, but this apartment was gorgeous. It was one of Seattle's only redeeming features. She turned her attention to the miserable rain that continued to pound onto the city below. The phone rang and she reached over to grab it. 

"Monica?" 

"Hi Christopher," she said into the phone. For a moment she had hoped it was someone else calling to check up on her. No. He had stopped calling awhile ago. Why? She searched her brain. Oh, that's right, he had gotten married. 

"Are we still on for tonight?" 

"Yes, sure," she told him trying to be excited about it. 

"Great, I'll pick you up at eight," he told her.

"Right, I'll see you then," she said hanging up the phone. She really didn't feel like having a full-blown conversation with him. She had been dating him for about two months. And it was nice. But that's all it was. It was not exciting or exhilarating or any of that. It was simply nice. 

__

So this is a

painful realization that all has gone wrong

that nobody cares at all

and nobody cares at all

She was dressed in a black dress with a string of pearls around her neck. When had she become so conservative? She used to go all out when she dressed up for him. Plunging necklines and tight little dresses. Now, as she glanced in the mirror, she had become so unadventurous when it came to clothing. That's the way that Christopher liked her. Her once long hair was now shoulder length with blonde highlights throughout it. She had pulled it back into a twist and sighed as she glanced at herself in the mirror. She was not having fun. She was twenty-eight years old and she was not having any fun at all. She used to have fun. She used to have fun all the time. That was before she had gotten married, and before her marriage had fallen apart. She had lost everything. Her husband and her best friends. It was horrible, but she missed her friends more. Especially him. No, she shook her head and glanced into her closet at the box that was sitting on the floor. She kneeled down and picked up the shirt from the top of the box and took a deep breath into the cotton. Then she stopped her tears and straightened up. The tears would ruin her makeup. She buried the shirt below the rest of the pictures and tugged on her dress to smooth any wrinkles and heard her doorbell and walked out into the living room and opened the door. 

"Hello," she said allowing him to kiss her on her cheek. She took her coat from the closet and allowed him to help her put it on. He extended his arm and she took it and left the apartment. They walked down to the lobby and out to his Mercedes and she climbed in the passenger seat and waited for him to get into the driver's seat as they drove towards the restaurant. 

"So, how was your day?" she asked forcing small talk. 

"It was okay," he shrugged. "I had board meetings all day. How was yours?" 

"Not bad," she lied. "I got caught in the rain." He laughed.

"That's Seattle for you," he said and she managed to smile and nod. "Did you tape today?"

"Yes, the next two episodes. I'm going to New York, remember?"

"Ah, yes, for your nephew's birthday. I remember." She nodded. She was unsure about going back to New York. But it was Ben's birthday and she had never missed one of his birthdays yet. Even after she had moved away she had promised to fly back. 

"I'll miss you," his voice broke her thoughts. 

"Oh. I'll miss you too." Would she? It was hard to say. She had to admit that she probably wouldn't. Their food arrived relieving her from this small talk and she began to eat. 

"Excuse me," the waitress said. "Are you Monica Geller?" Monica smiled and nodded.

"Yes I am."

"Oh my God! I watch your show every week! That cake that you made last week I just tried for my best friend's birthday."

"Did it work?"

"It was okay," both her and Monica laughed. "I hope our food is up to your standards." 

"I'm sure that it will be," Christopher assured the waitress who nodded and asked Monica for her autograph. Monica obliged. That was another redeeming quality of Seattle. Her cooking show. She hardly believed that she was the host of a cooking show. _Monica's Kitchen_ played just in Seattle as of then, but they were talking about going national in a few months. Memories flooded her brain. The night that the man had walked into the restaurant to congratulate the chef and told her that she was perfect. Just the type of person they were looking for. And she shuddered slightly when she remembered what he had yelled at her when she told them that she was moving to be the host of her own show.

"Did you sleep with him?" It had stung. It had hurt so badly that she had literally lost her breath for a moment. 

"No!"

"He just hired you because you were nice to look at," he added before the rest of their friends told him to stop and told her that they were happy for her. That was the last time they had spoken. Did she really want to go back? Face him again? She couldn't say. But she couldn't not go and find out. 

__

so you buried all your lover's clothes

and burnt the letters that lover wrote

but it doesn't make it any better

doesn't make it any better

Monica took a deep breath before raising her hand to knock on the door. Rachel pulled it open and squealed at the sight of her best friend. 

"Monica!" She held out her arms and Monica let out the breath that she was holding and threw herself into her friend's grasp. 

"Oh I missed you," Monica whispered into Rachel's hair. 

"Us too," Rachel said pulling away. "Come in. Ross! Mon's here." Ross came out of the bedroom that he and Rachel now shared. What was once Monica's bedroom. 

"Hey, my long-lost sister!" He picked her up and spun her around. 

"Hi Ross." 

"Honey, go get Joey and Chan....." Monica smiled at him.

"It's fine. You can go get them both." Rachel nodded and left the apartment to knock on the door across the hallway. Monica found that the knot had not left her stomach, but had just increased at the prospect of seeing him. 

"Monica!" Joey came running into the apartment and hugged her tightly. 

"Hi Joey," she said laughing. "You can let go." He laughed and loosened his grip on her. She saw Chandler hanging back in the doorway of the apartment. 

"Hi Chandler," she said softly. 

"Monica." He disappeared from the doorway and she untangled herself from Joey to follow him. She shut the door behind her as she faced him in the hallway. She could see the dent from when she threw the shoe at him that last night that she was there. And the dent by her where he had punched the wall in anger. 

"How are you?" He asked not looking into her eyes.

"I'm okay and you?"

"I'm fine."

"How's Brittany?" She had just remembered that he was married. He had gotten married. But why was he still living across from Rachel and Ross with Joey? Her mind raced. Hadn't Rachel walked across the hall to get them both?

"She's okay, she's at her mother's this week. I'm staying with Joey." 

"Oh. I was hoping that I would get to meet her."

"Liar." He knew her too well. 

"Well...." she shrugged. 

"You could have come home for the wedding."

"I'm sorry. I tried I was...."

"Too busy."

"Chandler, I....."

"Save it."

"I just...."

"Nice to see you Monica." He disappeared into the apartment and she found herself sinking to the floor. She glanced around the hallway that held so many memories. Memories that were dusty in her mind. They would just fade away eventually without the constant reminder. And there was no reminder in Seattle. Hadn't that been another one of it's appeals? 

"Aunt Monica!" She turned to see Ben running up the stairs. "You came!" 

"Of course I came," she said wiping the tears from her eyes and hugging him. Carol and Susan came up behind him and gave her a hug.

"I tell everyone that Ben's aunt is famous in Seattle," Susan said. "They're all so jealous that I know a celebrity."

"Well, we're going to be syndicated nationally in a few weeks."

"Oh! Then they'll really be jealous," Susan said causing Monica to laugh. It was a half-hearted laugh, but a laugh none-the-less. Monica gave one last look to the apartment before heading into Ross and Rachel's.

__

and the plaster dented from your fist

in the hallway where you had your first kiss

reminds you that the memories will fade

She was back on the flight to Seattle a week later. She had not seen Chandler the entire week. Not that she had expected to after his greeting. She twisted in her first-class seat and wondered how this all came to be. What was it that her grandmother had once told her? Life is a dance. Sometimes you lead, and sometimes you let others lead you. But no one was leading this dance. Both her and Chandler had stepped aside to let the other lead to find that without someone taking control everything just fell apart. That's what had happened. Everything had fallen apart. Life had been a brilliant dance where no one was in control and so they all fell away from each other without a hand to hold on to. 

"Excuse me?" Monica asked the flight attendant. "How close are we to Seattle?"

"About an hour to go miss," she answered and then moved on.

"Thanks," Monica said and closed her eyes. An hour to go. In Seattle she didn't worry as much about these things. The dance was far away in New York where she couldn't hear the music. 

__

so this is strange

a side-stepping has come to be

a brilliant dance

where nobody leads at all

but nobody leads at all

"Monica? It's Christopher, call me when you get home." She pressed the delete button on the answering machine and sat down on her couch. She saw the picture of the gang at Central Perk and she cried out angrily and slammed it down. The apartment was empty. The sound of silence was deafening. She fell into the cushions and cried. She pulled the blanket down and tried to sleep it away. 

She woke up the next morning and heard the doorbell ringing. Christopher was standing with a bag of bagels.

"Hey!" He gave her a kiss on her cheek. "You didn't call." His voice was teasing.

"I got home late and just slept," she told him. That was the truth. She had gotten home pretty late and had fallen asleep on the couch.

"How was New York?"

"Oh, it was okay," she said.

"Well, I have great news."

"What's that?"

"I want to take you away and I talked to my boss and I can have some time off, and I thought that you and I could go to Vancouver for a little while."

"How long is a little while? Because Christopher, I have the show and we're talking about going....."

"I know, what's to say that you can't shot a few episodes in a row like you did for this past week?"

"I can't just...."

"Monica, just think about it okay?"

"Okay," she said softly taking a bagel and spreading cream cheese on it. She took a bite and studied Christopher's face. He wasn't Chandler. And he wasn't....nope. She would be happy today. She made a conscious decision to be happy today. She would live up to it. She had a great boyfriend who wanted to take her away and she was happy. She was happy. She was also a liar, but who had to know that part?

__

and the picture frames are facing down

and the ringing from this empty sound

is deafening

and keeping you from sleep

There was a buzz and she groaned and got out of bed to answer it. Who showed up at six in the morning? 

"You better have a good reason for waking me up," she said into the intercom. 

"Excuse me Ms. Geller," Henry's voice said. "But there is a man who is demanding to see you right now." 

"Who is it?"

"A Chandler Bing, ma'am." Her heart began to skip beats.

"Chandler?"

"Yes."

"Send him up."

"Yes ma'am." She ran to the mirror and glanced at horror at her reflection. She looked like crap. What was Chandler doing here? What was he doing in Seattle? Well, she was about to find out wasn't she? The knock on her door and she pulled on her hair and sighed before opening the door.

"Chandler?"

"Monica, sorry to wake you up."

"I....what....you...what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you. We have to talk." She gave a nod.

"Can I get dressed and we'll go get some breakfast?"

"Sure. I'll just wait here." She gave a nod and hurried down to her bedroom and threw open her closet and grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled a turtleneck and threw her hair back into a ponytail and threw on some makeup and went back to meet him.

"Nice place. They must pay you well."

"Yes, they do."

"Ready to go?"

"Yes." She took her coat and followed him out into the drizzling morning.

"It's raining," he said glancing at the sky as they walked down the street.

"It's always raining," she commented. "This isn't bad at all."

"Oh." They continued to walk in silence before they found a restaurant and went in and got themselves a seat. They were the only ones in the place. After all, it was seven in the morning on a Saturday. 

"Why are you here?"

"Monica, I just wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"You know what."

"It's been over a year Chandler."

"I know, but...."

"You should be in New York with your wife," Monica looked into his eyes and told him what pained her the most to say. He was married. He had a wife. Brittany. He had a wife named Brittany. The food came and they sat in silence as Monica kept glancing at her watch watching the time crawl by. 

__

and breathing is a foreign task

and thinking is just too much to ask

and you are measuring your minutes 

by a clock that's blinking eights

"What is the real reason for you coming?" Monica finally asked.

"Why didn't you come to my wedding?" He asked.

"What?"

"Why didn't you come to my wedding?"

"I don't know.... I was busy." He snorted.

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was."

"Everyone was there, except you."

"Well, we didn't exactly leave on great terms Chandler."

"We didn't leave at all. You left."

"I said I was sorry for that."

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

"You told me that the only reason that they would hire me was because I was nice to look at."

"It was probably true!" She felt her blood begin to boil. 

"Maybe you are right, but was the best thing that ever happened to me. Why couldn't you have just been happy for me?"

"Because!"

"Because why?" She demanded. Their voices were beginning to raise and she lowered hers to a harsh whisper. 

"You know why."

"No, I don't."

"Sure you do."

"No. I. Don't."

"Don't make me say it."

"Chandler, I don't know why you couldn't have been happy for me."

"You don't?" He asked with a sarcastic edge to his voice. "I watched you get married Monica. Remember? I stood back and watched you marry Richard. I watched that marriage fall apart and comforted you. Why? Because I was waiting for a chance with you. And then that chance came and you left. That's why." He had a death grip on the tablecloth.

"Why did you come here?"

"I came to tell you that I was sorry," he said his voice strained and even. "I didn't mean to hurt you with those words. They were just words. And I came to find out why you didn't come to my wedding and I wanted to let you know that I'm getting a divorce." He threw down money for the waitress and left the restaurant leaving Monica with her head spinning. 

__

well this is incredible, starving, insatiable,

yes this is love for the first time

you'd like to think you were invincible

yeah, well, weren't we all once

before we felt lost for the first time?

well, this is the last time

this is the last time

this is the last time

~ Well, please review and I'll work on the next part which will go more into detail with what happened between the two of them and Richard. Didn't expect her to have married him did you? I feel much better after writing this by the way. Please review!!!!! Faster you review the faster my little fingers will write.~


	2. This Ruined Puzzle

So thanks for reviewing and my day was slightly better today. I decided this will be my Dashboard Confessional fic as the song in this one is by them too. Actually it was just because this song fit and I was listening to them. But please review to this one too. It would make me very happy. 

Disclaimer: Oh, yeah, so they aren't mine. And I don't own the song either. 

Monica walked back to her apartment in a daze. 

"I'm getting a divorce." That's what he had said, right? He was getting a divorce. After five months of marriage, they were divorcing? What had happened? What had gone wrong? Not that she minded. She didn't mind at all. She needed to talk to him and unfortunately he was currently MIA. She gave a slight nod of the head to Henry and embraced the silence of the elevator. She pressed her button and leaned her head back. She remembered what had happened. She remembered perfectly what had happened between the two of them and it all started with her marriage to Richard. 

__

Three years before:

"Richard proposed to me," Monica told her friends and extended the finger where a ring sparkled on her finger.

"Oh Monica! What a ring!" Rachel said hugging her best friend. "Can I be maid of honor?"

"Of course not," Phoebe interrupted. "That's my job." Monica laughed. 

"Are you sure he's good enough for you?" Ross asked.

"Oh Ross," Rachel said placing her hand on his arm. "Of course he's good enough. He's a doctor."

"He's also twenty-one years older than her," Chandler butted in and Monica waved her hand to dismiss the thought.

"I love him." That was enough, Chandler thought to himself. She loved him. And she will never love me. Unrequited love blows, he mentally thought, but he plastered on a smile and hugged his best friend. 

"I'm happy for you then," he lied. Well, it was a half lie. He was happy that she was happy, but that was where his happiness stopped and the pain began.

Chandler watched her come down the aisle on the arm of her father and she was smiling brightly. Her heart was beating fast at the prospect of what she was about to do, and Chandler's heart was breaking at the prospect of what she was about to do. Richard stood at the alter waiting for his bride. A bride that by all the laws of the universe should not belong to him. Well, the laws of Chandler's universe. Which he now realized meant nothing to anyone else. He loosened his tie to be able to breath, and when that didn't work he closed his eyes. At least he wouldn't actually watch her getting married. 

"Hey buddy, are you okay?" Joey whispered. 

"I just....don't feel well today," Chandler said.

"I'm sorry, well, make your appearance at the reception and then leave," Joey suggested shrugging and then returned his attention to his friend's wedding. 

"Right." Chandler opened his eyes to see the groom kiss the bride. His heart twisted and he stood up and clapped for them as they left the church hand in hand grinning broadly. 

"Ross," Chandler tugged on his friend's arm. "Tell Monica congratulations, I don't feel so good. I think it'll be better if I go home." 

"She'll be so disappointed," Ross said. "But go home, I hope that you feel better." Chandler nodded and slipped out of the church. He had no intentions of going home, and every intention of getting drunk. 

__

This ruined puzzle is beige

with the pieces all face down

so the placing goes slowly

the pictures of anything other than it's meant to be

Monica got back to her apartment and let her coat drop to the floor. She crossed to the kitchen and pulled out a pint of ice cream. If there was ever a time for ice cream, this was it. She stuck her spoon in and took a bite and sighed. The phone rang and she let the machine pick it up. 

"Monica? Are you there? It's Christopher. Wow, I think this is the first time that you've been up before nine on a Saturday. I wonder what the occasion is. Call me back when you get in." She took another bite and devised a plan to find Chandler. She stood up and grabbed the directory and began calling the hotels to see if he was listed. 

"My luck," she muttered. "He'll stay in the Sheraton or something." She dialed the next one and asked for Chandler Bing's room. It was raining harder now. That was funny. It had rained the day that she showed up soaking wet at his doorstep when she found out Richard had cheated on her. 

__

Two years before:

"He cheated on me," she managed to squeak out before she broke down in tears. 

"Come in," he opened the door wider and ran to the bathroom to get her a towel. He wrapped it around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry Chandler," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

"No, it's fine. What happened?"

"I came home and they were.....he was....he had a....Oh God!" Chandler knew that it would be awhile before she could get the story out and so he just held her. 

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. 

"How?"

"I don't know, but it will be."

"I never thought that he would ever do that to me," she sobbed. "He was never supposed to hurt me." No, Chandler thought. No, he was never supposed to hurt you. I'll kill him. 

"Here, Mon, go get in the shower and I'll take your clothes down to the laundry room and dry them." He let her go and rummaged through his drawers before finding a t-shirt that was a little too small for him, and a pair of sweatpants that he had grown out of a long time ago. They would still be too big on her, but they would do. He handed her the clothes and watched as she wiped the tears from her face and closed the bathroom door. He sighed and fell back onto the couch. He cheated on her? Who could possibly compare to Monica? Joey came into the apartment fresh from his date and heard the water running.

"Whose here?" He asked. 

"Monica."

"What is she doing here?"

"Richard cheated on her." Chandler watched as Joey's face got red and his features contorted in anger. 

"I'll rip him limb from limb," he announced. 

"I know, get in line," Chandler said. 

"I'm going to get Ross and we're going over there," Joey said and he held up his hand to stop Chandler's warnings. He slammed the apartment door shut and went across the hall to what was now Rachel and Ross's place. Monica came out with the t-shirt wet from where her hair fell onto it. Her eyes were swollen and she stumbled into Chandler's embrace. 

"It's going to be okay," he whispered. "It's going to be okay." And then he just held her. He held her for hours. 

__

but the hours they creep 

the patterns repeat

but don't be concerned

You know I'll be fine on my own

I never said "Don't go."

don't go

"Yes, he's in room 232," the desk clerk told Monica. "I can put you through if you would like."

"Um, no. That's okay." Monica hung up the phone. She had gotten to the M's before she found him. She found an umbrella and pulled on her coat to brave the rain to get to the hotel. Once there she found room 232 and knocked on the door. No one answered. She slipped down onto the rug in the hallway and was ready to wait it out for him. She fiddled with the end of her umbrella until she heard the elevator open and she jumped to her feet. It was him. He was covered in rain.

"Monica?"

"We need to talk...again." 

"I think we're done talking," he said.

"No, we've just begun to talk about what we need to talk about." He shrugged and opened the door and they walked in. Monica sat on the corner of the bed and cleared her throat.

"What's left to talk about?" Chandler asked.

"Why are you getting a divorce?" He shrugged again.

"It didn't work out."

"It's only been five months."

"So?"

"So! That's a pretty short amount of time Chandler. What went wrong?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Would I have asked if I didn't?"

"She wasn't you." That was not the answer that Monica was waiting for and it took her by surprise.

"I....well....I don't know....." 

"Monica, listen. I don't know why I came here. I know that I'm sorry for what I said to you. I honestly didn't mean it. I was angry. I still am, and they just came out. It was never because I believed it, but just because I was so mad. The second thing was, I didn't blame you for not coming to my wedding. If I could go back, I wouldn't have shown up at yours at all."

"If I could back I wouldn't have gotten married," Monica whispered. 

"Well, we all make mistakes." 

__

but I've hidden a note

it's pressed between pages

that you've marked to find your way back

it says

"Does he ever get the girl?"

They both sat in silence waiting for the other to say something else. 

"Monica." 

"Yes?"

"Did you ever love me?"

"Once. I thought I did once."

"Before or after Richard?"

"Before, after, and during."

"Oh." Silence once more fell over them like a veil. 

"Did you ever wonder if we would have done things differently if everything would have been okay?"

"What do you mean?" He turned his attention to her. She was not facing him, rather she was facing the wall. Her face held a thoughtful expression. 

"If I hadn't gotten married, if I had talked to you about the offer to move here before I took it. Wasn't that what made you the most angry?" How did she know? He gave a chuckle. They knew each other too well. 

"Yes. The fact that I could be tossed aside for a promotion. That hurt the most."

"So you hurt me." It was not her blaming him. It was the truth. She had hurt him by moving to Seattle and so he had thrown words at her that he knew would sting. It was juvenile and it was uncharacteristic, but that was reality. 

"Yes. I hurt you." 

"How long are you here for?" 

"A few days."

"Maybe we can get dinner? And make it through without ripping each other's heads off?"

"That would be okay." Chandler stood up and walked her to the elevator. Monica nodded and stepped inside. 

"Call me," she said handing him a slip of paper with her number as the doors slid shut.

__

but what if the pages stay press?

the chapter's unfinished?

the story's too tough to unfold?

Does he ever get the girl?

A year and a half before:

"Want to catch a movie?" Chandler walked into Monica's apartment. 

"Sure," She put her book on the table and straightened herself out. "What movie?"

"Doesn't matter," Chandler grabbed the paper and began to flip through. He watched as Monica poured over the movie listings looking for one that would be good. The two of them had been inseparable since her divorce. He was more than willing to be there for her twenty-four hours a day if she should so chose. 

"What about this one?" She pointed and he nodded.

"That would be fine. We could grab a bite to eat afterwards." 

"Okay, let me go change and then we can go," she disappeared into her bedroom and Chandler sunk down into one of her chairs. He noticed the book that he had given her for her wedding was still sitting on the selves. He wondered if she had ever opened it. He guessed that she hadn't because she would have said something about it. She came out a minute later and he threw a glance back and followed her out of the apartment. 

He sat a few months later. Alone. She was gone. She had moved to Seattle leaving him behind. And those horrible things that he had said to her. That she didn't deserve the job that she had to have slept with that guy to have been offered it in the first place. His mind wandered back to the book. She had never opened it. She had never read what he had put in there. 

"Come on Chandler, we're all going out," Phoebe said coming into the room. 

"Who?"

"The whole gang." 

"Not the whole gang," he muttered. 

"Chandler, she's been gone a month."

"I know Pheebs, but....she shouldn't have left in the first place."

"Chandler, this was her dream. Did you want her to give up her dream?" Chandler knew it was selfish, but yes. He had wanted her to give up her dream for him. He had thought that he was worth it. He would have given it up for her. He would have given up anything for her. 

"Hey, you guys coming?" Joey came to the door and peered in. Phoebe shrugged. 

"Come on man," Joey pleaded. "There's this girl who I think that you would like. Her name is Brittany."

"We've only been broken up for a month," Chandler said turning the chair away from his friends.

"Chandler, you never actually dated!" Joey said and Phoebe put her hand on his arm to calm him down, but Joey shook it away. "No! You went out on a few actual dates, but all those months, they were just her trying to get back on her feet and leaning on her friend. They were not months spent dating. At least not to her. You act like she committed some horrible sin! A few kisses and dinners does not make you a couple. What she did, did not make her a horrible person." Joey grabbed his coat and slammed the door as he left. Chandler turned back to Phoebe.

"Does everything think this?" He asked.

"Most of us think that you are blaming her for something that she never did, yes. But Chandler...." He held up a hand to stop her. 

"Whose this Brittany?" 

__

well this basement's a coffin

and I'm buried alive

I'll die in here just to be safe

I'll die in here just to be safe

cause you're gone 

I get nothing

you're off with barely a sigh

I never said goodbye

Monica found herself rifling through old boxes when she got home after seeing Chandler. Her hand hit something hard on the bottom. She pulled it out and studied it. It was the book that Chandler had given her for her wedding gift. 

"I never read it," she said out loud to no one in particular. She stood up and was about to open it when the phone shrilly rang breaking the silence in the apartment. She ran to answer it hoping that it was Chandler.

"Hey stranger, you never called." Nope, no such luck. It was Christopher. 

"Hi Chris."

"Where have you been?"

"A friend from New York came in unexpectedly and so I went out to breakfast with him and then we just talked for awhile." She wasn't lying to him. He had no idea who Chandler was, so even if she did say his name, Christopher would not know who he was or what history went along with that name. 

"Oh, so I guess you don't want to go to dinner tonight," he said.

"Not tonight, Christopher." She never called him honey or sweetie. She had used those terms all the time before. She never used them any more.

"That's fine. Call me when she leaves town." How funny that Christopher automatically assumed that it was a girl.

"Okay." Well, what he didn't know couldn't hurt him right? They hung up and Monica went back to where the book was sitting. She picked it up and opened it gently. A piece of paper fluttered to the floor.

"Hmm," she said leaning down to pick it up. She read in Chandler's distinct writing six words:

Does he ever get the girl?

__

but I've hidden a note

it's pressed between pages

that you've marked to find your way back

it says

"Does he ever get the girl?"

but I've hidden a note

it's pressed between pages

that you'll read if you're so inclined

"Does he ever get the girl?"

As she sat studying the paper, there was a knock on her door. She stood to answer it. Chandler stood on the other side.

"Hi."

"Hi." She leaned against the doorframe.

"Want to grab that something to eat?" He asked.

"Sure, come on in." He nodded and stepped in. "Let me go get a sweater." She disappeared down the hall and he saw that his book was sitting open on the coffee table. The paper was laying next to it. She had read it.

"Chandler?" Her voice floated through the air. He couldn't find his voice to answer.

"Yes?"

"What did that mean?"

"What?" Act stupid, he commanded himself.

"That note. The one that was tucked in my book."

"Oh."

"Oh? It said, 'does he ever get the girl?'" 

"Yeah. What about it?"

"What did that mean?" She waited for an answer. He figured that she must know, and just wanted to hear him say it. 

"It meant....the he....I mean.....the girl was you."

"I figured. And were you the he?"

"Yes."

"Oh."She glanced at the book open on the table. "So?"

"So what?"

"Does he?" She glanced at his face and waited for an answer. He didn't know what kind of answer she wanted. Obviously he hadn't gotten the girl. 

"No."

"Maybe he should try again." Chandler looked and saw that she was smiling. 

"Maybe. You ready to go?" She nodded and he held open the door for her. As she was passing by she gathered the courage and kissed him square on the mouth. 

__

but the hours they creep

the patterns repeat

but don't be concerned 

I'll be fine on my own

I never said don't go

don't go

Does he ever get the girl?

Please review and I'll write the next part if I get at least like...I don't know 6 reviews? So review. Review. I mean it people, start typing those reviews!


	3. I'm Gonna Make You Love Me

Ah, and the Dashboard Confessional kick ends. Well, I'm still listening to them cause...well they're great, but I have a new band for this one. The song is sung by the Jawhawks. Please review again, it meant a lot to me. Even the person who wrote the same thing like twenty times. Try to only do it once this time. : )

Disclaimer: Yeah, so I woke up and realized that I didn't own them

Chandler couldn't believe that he was actually kissing her. He had waited for this moment for a year. He would have bet good money that their lips would never meet again. Now he was kissing her. Or rather, she was kissing him. He had a feeling that they would not make it to a restaurant to get something to eat and drink. He was drunk on her. Her perfume filled his senses and as she pulled away. Did he do something wrong? He suddenly was filled with panic.

"What's the matter?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," she apologized.

"No! Why are you apologizing? There's nothing to apologize for. That was amazing Monica."

"Chandler, you're still married."

"I'm getting divorced," he offered but she shook her head.

"But you're not yet." She turned her face away and stared out the window. "I think that we should go back to being friends before attempting to try anything else." He didn't want to tell her, but he was pretty sure that they were past that point. 

"I guess, if that's what you want," he said. 

"Yeah. I think it'll probably be a good idea," she said. Her head was telling her that this was the right thing to do, but her heart was bursting and was screaming at her to tell him that she was lying. It was calling her a fool and telling her that she was about to ruin possibly the best thing that would ever happen to her. 

"All right. We can be friends. Do you still want to get something to eat?" She laughed a little. 

"Still thinking about food, huh?" She asked teasingly.

"No. I'm thinking about you, food is second on the list." She blushed and he remembered that he could always make her blush. 

"Okay, then let's go get some food." He led her out of the apartment and they got into the silent elevator. He studied her face. She held a thoughtful expression on her face. 

"What's up?" He asked. "You look like you're thinking hard over there."

"Rachel told me that you....you were kind of...well... sort of...." She trailed off trying to grasp the right word. 

"I never went out, Monica. I just stayed in for awhile. And then Joey said some pretty harsh wake up calls and I went out and I met Brittany. And she was....she was okay. She wasn't great, and she wasn't you. But she was someone there. I thought that at least, if you were happy in Seattle, then I could try at least to be happy in New York. I could pretend. I could lie to everyone, including myself that I was okay. I had a girlfriend and I was okay." 

"I'm sorry Chandler," she said softly.

"No, Joey was right that day. You did nothing wrong. We weren't married or engaged or actually dating. You know what my mother told me that I got very angry with at the time, but she was right on the money?"

"What?"

"She told me that I let the best thing in my life get on a plane and move to Seattle, and that I should have followed you. I should have gone to the ends of the earth for you." He chuckled slightly. "She was right, you know? She was completely and totally right."

"Chandler, I meant the friends thing. I would like to be friends first."

"Okay." The elevator door slid open and the two of them stepped out into the lobby to go get dinner. 

__

The world never ends

It's only the beginning

And we can't pretend 

to discover it's meaning

Chandler helped a very drunk Monica into the apartment later that night. She had began ordering drinks and hadn't stopped. She claimed that vodka cleansed the soul. He would normally agree, but he had promised himself earlier that he would make sure that she got home okay. He helped her to the couch and grabbed a blanket and carefully covered her up. She opened her eyes and smiled up at him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything," she said sleepily. He nodded. 

"Go to sleep."

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I think so."

"Then I'll stay." He sat down on the chair across from her. She opened her eyes again. 

"Chandler?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you remember when we were inseparable?"

"Yeah," he smiled at the memory.

"We could talk hours about nothing, remember?"

"Yeah."

"I miss that," she sighed. "I miss that a lot." 

"Go to sleep." He kissed her forehead and she snuggled down into the couch and drifted off to sleep. Chandler sat across from her and watched her sleep. Her breathing became even and the blanket was rising and falling with her chest as she slept. Her mouth was slightly apart, and she sighed in her sleep. He didn't know that. He never knew that she sighed in her sleep. He wondered if she did it every night, or if she was dreaming. There was so much that he needed to learn about her. They had been best friends for so long, and he never realized how many details that he had missed. 

"Monica?" He figured he could talk to her while she was sleeping and would have the confidence to tell her what he wanted to. "I'm sorry for the things that I said. And I'm sorry, but I love you. And I want to be more than friends. I want to hold you every single day for the rest of my life. And you know me, non-commitment guy. But I would marry you in a heartbeat. I would take you to city hall tomorrow if you told me that you would." He leaned forward and gently stroked back her hair. "And I don't think that I can stand this friends thing for very long. So realize that I'm going to make you realize that you don't want to be just friends either." He sat back in the chair satisfied. He'd make her see. He'd have to. 

__

We talked for hours at a time

Then I came to my senses

You're more than a friend

You're my perfect lover

I'll never be all you want me to

but that's all right

When she woke up the next morning, she was surprised to see him still sitting on the chair asleep holding vigil over her. That was the second thing she noticed. The first was the splitting headache that made her want to cry.

"Oh God," she whined and stumbled towards the bathroom for some Advil. She had trouble with the childproof top and was getting frustrated.

"Damn childproof lid!" She said hitting it against the counter trying to open it. She felt a strong hand reach down and take it off her and expertly screw it open. He took her hand and poured two pills into her outstretched hand. 

"There," Chandler said and turned around and walked out of the room. 

"I didn't know that you were awake," she called. But her yelling made her head pound worse, so she went back out into the living near him. He came out of the kitchen holding a cold compress and handed it to her. 

"Yeah, well, a chair is not exactly the most comfortable place to sleep, you know?" She nodded and leaned her head back and closed her eyes with the compress in place.

"My head feels like it's going to explode," she muttered. 

"Well, you made best friends with Jack Daniel and his friend Russian vodka last night," Chandler commented. She waved her hand to discourage him from talking any further.

"Please. I try to forget my mistakes, and that...that was a big one." He laughed. 

"Well, if you're going to live, I have to go pack."

"Maybe when I feel like I'm not dying any more, we can get together for one last dinner."

"A 'let's-be-friend- again-before-I-leave' dinner?" 

"Yeah. That."

"Okay, call me when you feel better." She hardly acknowledged his leaving before she stumbled back to her bedroom to try to sleep off this hangover. 

"Hey," Chandler came to pick her up again.

"You look very nice," Monica complimented. 

"Oh, thanks. This old thing?" She giggled and he extended his arm and she took it. 

"So where are we going?" She asked.

"I thought some place nice," he suggested. "Without a bar." She rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly. 

"Stop. I was dehydrated last night," she covered. 

"Liar."

"Call me what you will," she said. "But I stand by that statement." 

"Okay." He laughed and hailed a cab.

"Look, it stopped raining," she said glancing up at the sky. 

"Wow, I never thought it would stop," he said smiling at her.

"Neither did I." 

"Mon..."

"Chan..." They both laughed uncomfortably. 

"You go," she said.

"No. You go." Neither said anything and they laughed again.

"Monica, I just wanted to say that....I think that friends thing....it's really..."

"Stupid." She interrupted. 

"I...are you.....are you serious?"

"What was I thinking? I mean, you and me? Just friends? Ha!" He took this opportunity to pull her close to him and smother her lips. 

__

I'm gonna make you love me

I'm gonna dry your tears

And we're gonna stay together 

for a million years

it's the least I can do

Just to make you my baby

They stumbled back into her apartment kissing, only pausing long enough for Monica to stick the key in the door and open it. 

"Where's the bedroom?" Chandler asked breathlessly.

"Last door on the left," Monica replied. He nodded and scooped her into his arms and carried down the hallway. He shifted her so that his hand could turn the doorknob and then laid her on the bed. He landed kisses all over her neck and down to take off the dress that she was wearing. He unzipped the back of the dark blue dress and threw it onto a chair. He missed completely and Monica laughed. 

"Good shot."

"Thanks," he grinned as he reached behind and unhooked her bra. He was never good with bras, but it seemed like the gods had given him a break that night. He smiled inwardly. That's because the earth was stopping for them, for them to be together. For them to work things out. 

"Chandler?"

"Hmm?"

"I am sorry."

"I know. Shush." He held her in his arms. Yes, time was stopping for them. Or at least slowing down. 

He rolled over to watch her sleep. Her breathing was even and her dark hair was fanned out on the pillow below her head. One of her hands was casually intertwined with his. Her fingers just barely holding on with the confidence that he wouldn't let go. 

"You're staring at me," she said sleepily, with her eyes still closed.

"How did you know?"

"I'm amazing like that," one eye opened and a small smile was displayed on her face.

"You are amazing. Last night was amazing."

"Tell me about it," she said. "What time is it?"

"It's three in the morning."

"Oh." She snuggled deeper into his embrace. "I like this. No, scratch that. I love this."

"Really? Cause I think it's just all right." She smacked him and he laughed. "I'm teasing." 

"Better be," she mumbled as sleep began to descend again. 

"Go to sleep again," he whispered. "I'll see you in the morning." She nodded and drifted off safe in his arms. 

__

no words could describe

Oh, pinch me I'm dreaming

your hair's long and black

as it lays 'cross my pillow

when I stare in your eyes

I get lost in your glory

Monica woke up the next morning to an incessant knocking on the front door. She groaned and looked at the man laying next to her.

"What is that?" He asked.

"That would be someone knocking," she answered. She rolled out of bed and pulled on a robe that was thrown over the back of a chair. She rubbed her eyes and pulled open the door.

"How about some breakfast?" It was Christopher. Oh God, she thought. Christopher. What do I say to him? What do I tell him? Oh, hey, that friend of mine that was in from New York? Yeah, well, I just slept with him. Sorry. No, she decided. That definitely would not work.

"I'd love to, but that friend of mine from New York is coming over. So actually I have to get a shower."

"I'd love to meet her."

"Him," Monica corrected.

"What?"

"It's a him. His name is Chandler."

"Oh." Christopher didn't say anything and Monica bit her lip. "Well, I'd still like to meet him."

"Why don't I call you and we can all meet for lunch?" Monica was trying to cover with Christopher, and figure out how to tell Chandler that she actually had a boyfriend. A sort of boyfriend. No, she admitted to herself. Christopher was really and truly a boyfriend.

"I guess that would be okay," Christopher responded sounding unsure.

"It's a great idea! Call you later, okay?" Monica practically pushed him out the door before sighing and heading back in to deal with Chandler's reaction.

"I need to talk to you," she said sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Who was at the door?" Chandler asked.

"That's sort of what I wanted to talk to you about. His name is Christopher. And he's well.....I was dating him ....am dating him." She cringed waiting for his reaction. 

"Oh." 

"Oh? That's all you're going to say?"

"Did you want me to say more?"

"I was thinking that you might. I'm sorry."

"For what Monica? Having a boyfriend? I have a wife." 

"That's an excellent point," she said and then smiled at him. "But you're divorcing her."

"And you're breaking up with him, right?"

"Right," she smiled again. "If we're really a we."

"We really are," he assured her. "Or at least, I want us to be." 

"Good. Then, yes, I'll break up with him." It was his turn to grin at her.

"Good," he repeated kissing her.

"But we still have to have lunch with him," Monica added pulling away. Chandler made a face. 

"Seriously?" 

"Yes, seriously. Come on, don't make this hard for me. " Chandler made another face. 

"Fine." 

"Fine." Monica patted his shoulder and then walked away to get in the shower.

"On one condition," Chandler called out after her.

"What's that?" she yelled back.

"I take that shower with you." 

"Deal." 

__

I'll never be all you want me to

but that's all right

I'm gonna make you love me

I'm gonna dry your tears

and we're gonna stay together

for a million years

Monica shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She was sitting between Chandler and Christopher, who were shooting each other dirty looks.

"So Christopher, Monica tell me that you work for her studio," Chandler attempted a conversation. 

"Yes. What do you do?" 

"I am a data processor," Chandler told him.

"Oh. What is that?" Christopher asked. 

"Um, Chandler lives across from my old apartment," Monica jumped in.

"Really? Is that how you met?" Christopher asked.

"No, actually Chandler was my brother Ross's roommate," Monica said.

"Ross and I are really good friends still," Chandler said. "Have you met him?"

"No, can't say that I have," Christopher said. 

"That's a shame," Chandler said. They were back to the glaring looks. Monica didn't think that she could take much more.

"Where is the waiter?" She asked looking around the restaurant. 

"Listen Monica," Christopher said suddenly. "I just remembered that I have a meeting."

"Oh. Okay."

"We can get together later?"

"Sure, there's something that I need to talk to you about," she said and she didn't miss Chandler's smirk. 

"Okay, dinner tonight?"

"That's fine," Monica said and turned her face when he went to kiss her lips so that he got her cheek.

"Great," he said and got up and left the table. Monica dropped her head into her hands.

"That guy is an asshole!" Chandler exclaimed. Monica glanced up.

"You didn't help," she accused.

"Sorry Monica, but seriously, he's a jerk," Chandler said. 

"I'm not hungry anymore," she said and got up and placed her napkin on the table and walked out.

"What did I do?" Chandler called after her. He threw down money for the bill and hurried out behind her. "Monica!"

"What?" She stopped.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing. I just have a headache and I'm not hungry anymore, so I'm going to go home." Chandler fell in step next to her.

"Can I walk you home?"

"It's a free country," Monica replied. Chandler walked silently beside her.

"You okay?"

"Fine."

"Great."

"Great." Silence again. "Are you going to talk to me?"

"You know you're not making this easy on me," Monica sputtered out spinning around.

"Huh?"

"This! You came in and disrupted my life, Chandler. And not that I'm upset about it, but it's still changes. I have to break up with my boyfriend, and my easy, if lonely, life is going to change. Majorly change. And all I am asking, is that you understand this. And be nice."

"Okay, I'm sorry," he pulled her to him and rocked her back and forth. "I'll try to be nice from now on." She let a small smile grace her face.

"Okay, I have to go decide what to wear to break up with my boyfriend now." 

__

when you were a little girl

your great big world came tumbling down

so sad

Yeah the river it bends

but it flows to the ocean

and baby here I am

I'm your sea of devotion

Chandler was waiting for her when she got home that night.

"How'd he take it?"

"Not so good."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I figured he wouldn't. You're not so easy to let go."

"I didn't tell about you. I didn't want to rub salt in the wound."

"Okay. That's okay," he patted the couch next to him and she happily sunk into his arms.

"What happens now Chandler?"

"What do you mean?

"What happens with us? What do we do?"

"I don't know," he said kissing her temple. "I do know, however, that I love you and will go wherever you want me to."

"But what about your job?"

"It's just a job, besides, I'm in love with a beautiful woman who makes plenty of money."

"What about New York? You love New York!"

"I know, but I can't let you out of my life again. I need you. I need to be with you and I need you here beside me always. So I'll get used to the rain." She gave a small laugh.

"Does that mean we're officially a couple?"

"I think so."

"That was fast."

"Actually, it took forever for us to get here." He gave her head one more kiss. 

__

I'll never be all you want me to

but that's all right

I'm gonna make you love me

I'm gonna dry your tears

and we're gonna stay together

for a million years

~Review please! I had a great weekend. It was homecoming and the float I worked on won!!!!! Go us!!!! But today in gym class, I was running towards third base and I tripped and I took a spectacular dive over it and landed very hard on my right leg, so my day was effectively ruined, so I think that's reason enough for you to review. I'm working on an epilogue, but only if you people review!~

  
  


  



	4. Crazy Love

*Whoa, so I had an extremely stressful weekend. I had the SATS, and then I had to present my graduation project, which had to be at least twenty minutes long, and do you know how hard it is to fill up twenty minutes? It was horrific, but it's all done now and so to release some pent up stress, I wrote a nice little fluffy epilogue, but you have been forewarned, it's really sappy. Deal with it. Oh, and review! *

Disclaimer: I own none of the original characters from the television show, I do own however all other characters. 

"Mommy!" Monica heard the voice from down the hall and she groaned and rolled over to look at Chandler.

"Maybe you should go this time," she said sleepily.

"She specifically asked for you," Chandler pointed out and Monica groaned.

"Fine," she huffed getting up out of bed and wincing when her feet hit the cold hardwood floor. She threw a pillow at him and pulled on her robe and went down the hall to her younger daughter's room.

"Mommy?" 

"What's the matter sweetheart?" Monica asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"There's a person under my bed."

"No, Lia, there really isn't," Monica said moving closer and taking the four-year-old into her arms. 

"But Abby said that there were. She told me that a bad man was hiding under the bed and would come out late at night and steal me away," Lia's small head bobbed as she quickly confessed why she was waking her mother up at two in the morning.

"Abigail," Monica said under her breath. Her older daughter was definitely like her father, and loved to tease her younger sister. "Honey, Abby was just trying to scare you."

"Yeah, it worked," Lia said. "Can't I stay with you and Daddy? Just tonight?" Monica brushed the soft, dark curls from Lia's cheek. 

"Just tonight baby, and tomorrow I will show you that no one is hiding under the bed," Monica picked her up and easily carried her down the hallway to her and Chandler's room. Chandler sat up when his wife came in holding their daughter.

"Lia is going to stay here with us tonight. Abby told her a story to scare her."

"Okay, come here honey," Chandler reached out his arms and shared the look that his wife gave him about Abby. Lia scrambled across the bed and slid under the covers, and safe in her father's arms, she drifted off to sleep. 

"We have to talk to her," Monica said sleepily crawling closer to Chandler and Lia and stroking her hair. 

"Tomorrow," Chandler said yawning and flipping off the light. "We'll definitely talk to her tomorrow." 

Her first born was definitely proving to be more difficult than her sister. Abby sat coloring when Monica went into the playroom to talk to her. She was newly-turned seven, and had dark hair and bright blue eyes like her sister. She smiled at her mother when Monica came in.

"Hi Mommy, look at my picture," Abby held up a picture of a rainbow for Monica's approval.

"It's beautiful honey, can we talk?"

"About?"

"About telling your sister lies that you know will scare her."

"Squealer," Abby curse under her breath. 

"Abigail, we've talked about this before, haven't we?" Abby nodded, but Monica saw the face that she made when she turned away. 

"Are we done?" Abby asked sighing. 

"Yes, we're done." Monica stood up and walked to the door and then looked back at her daughter. How could it have been so long since she was a baby? Wasn't if just yesterday that Monica told Chandler that she was pregnant? Hadn't it been the day before that Chandler picked her up and spun her around announcing that he loved her and couldn't live without her? And that it better be a girl who looked just like her mother, and would break hearts. Abby looked back up at her mother, sensing that she hadn't left yet.

"I'm really sorry, Mommy," she said. "I swear that I won't do it again."

"Thanks baby," Monica managed to get out and then left to seek Chandler.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"She's so grown up," Monica sobbed. Chandler couldn't help but let out a little laugh and pulled her into his arms.

"Oh, sweetheart. What are you going to do when they go away to college?"

"I don't know!" She cried as she buried her head in his shoulder. 

"Honey, she's only seven, we have ten more years."

"Only ten!" Then she looked up at Chandler and began giggling. "I'm overreacting right?"

"Just a bit," he told her and she nodded and she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"All right then," she said. Before she could move away, he grabbed her and pulled her near him.

"All right then," he whispered back kissing her mouth. He let his mind drift back to when Abby had been born. 

__

I can hear her heartbeat from a thousand miles

and the heavens open up

every time she smiles

and when I come to her 

that's where I belong

and I'm running through her

like a river's song

Seven years before:

"Push Monica! Come on sweetie, you can do it!" Chandler held her hand. "Okay, could you do it and loosen your grip on my hand? Cause Mon...Mon? It's hurts.....Monica? Mon, sweetie? MONICA!" Monica gave him a death stare and he shut up and bit his lip from the pain. She was always freakishly strong. Now at a time when most women were freakishly strong, she was showing incredible strength. Unfortunately, his hand was getting most of it. 

"Chandler," she was sobbing. "It hurts. Oh, God, it hurts." 

"I know baby. You're doing amazing. Just a few more pushes and then we'll have a little baby." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and forgave the hand. Then there it was. The sound of a baby crying. It felt like he had waited forever to hear that. He hadn't even known that he was missing it. 

"Congratulations. It's a girl." Chandler kissed Monica's forehead.

"Did you hear that honey? It's a girl," he whispered into her ear. They handed her to Monica. 

"Oh she's so beautiful," Monica breathed. "Have you ever seen something so beautiful?"

"Maybe only her mother," he told her and she looked up at him and smiled.

"Thank you Chandler." He didn't answer, he was memorized by his daughter. His daughter. That sounded great. His and Monica's baby. That sounded better. 

""She needs a name," the nurse said. "What are you going to name her?"

"I've always loved the name Abigail," Monica said softly. "Do you like it?"

"Abigail? Abby? I love it," he reassured her. "Middle name?"

"Catherine?"

"Abigail Catherine Bing. Gorgeous."

"Gorgeous," Monica repeated.

__

She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

she gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

"Monica?" It was Rachel on the phone. 

"Hi Rach," Monica smiled into the phone at the sound of her friend across the country. "How's everyone over in New York?"

"Great, how are you and Chandler and the girls?"

"We're fine. What's going on?"

"Can't I call my best friend to just chat?"

"Rachel? You always make me call you. Why are you calling?"

"Okay, fine, but I only make you call me because you make like, way more money than I do. Listen, we're all coming out there to see you guys!"

"When?" Monica was listening now. She missed her friends, and her brother. It was the only thing that she really had left behind. Chandler had come to her, and so now it was just the rest of her friends and family that she was a country away from. 

"Two weeks. So it's okay then? Can we stay with you?"

"Sure! I'll put Lia in with Abby, we have plenty of room," Monica saw Chandler come into the kitchen. She mouthed to him that she was talking to Rachel. "That sounds great Rachel."

"What?" He mouthed to her. 

"They're all coming out here," Monica said covering the bottom of the phone with her hand as she grinned at her husband. 

"That's fantastic!" Chandler said and gave his wife a small kiss on the cheek as he grabbed a cookie, what he had come in for, before she could scold him. She had made the cookies for Abby's school. This he knew, but he still couldn't help himself when he smelled it baking in the kitchen. He slipped out into the backyard where he was trying to teach his girls how to play football. Trying was the key word there. Abby was catching on, but at four, Lia could care less. All she knew was that her mother was baking cookies and she wasn't allowed to have any. 

"Okay, honey, I'm going to throw you the ball, and you're going to catch it and then run down there between the trees and that's called a touchdown. You get six points for that." 

"But I only did one thing. So I should only get one point," Abby argued. 

"Well, honey, in football, you get six points," Chandler explained.

"But why? And why is it football? You don't get to use your feet very much," Abby pointed out. 

"She has a point," Monica's voice was heard as she stepped out into the crisp fall evening. 

"Oh, just gang up on me," Chandler said teasingly. 

"Mommy!" Lia threw herself on Monica who laughed and picked her up. 

"Are you having fun playing with Daddy and Abby?"

"I'd have more fun if you let me have a cookie," Lia said batting her eyelashes at her mother. This was a proven way to get her mother to do what she wanted. 

"You sound like your father. Well, at least we know that she's yours Chandler," Monica said laughing. "Well, since Daddy snuck one, I guess it'd be okay." 

"How did you....never mind. Girls, Mommy knows everything. Just be careful of that," he said and Monica grinned. She still couldn't believe that she was married to him. After all that they had been through, after their huge argument, she had thought that they would never speak again, let alone be married with two kids. It had all happened so fast after his visit. He spoke to his boss, transferred to Seattle, proposed to Monica, and then they got married. Abby was born a year later, and then Lia. Monica wouldn't change anything about her life, though. She adored her family, she adored her television show, she adored her life. Chandler tossed her the ball which she caught.

"Come on Mon, come play," he egged her. 

"I'll kick your butt in front of your daughters, you know that right?" He grinned. 

"You're on."

__

she's got a fine sense of humor

when I'm feeling low down

and I'm coming to her 

when the sun goes down

Take away my troubles, take away my grief

take away my heartaches in the night like a thief

"They're here! Mommy they're here!" Abby ran from window to window in the front room shouting. She grabbed the door and pulled in open.

"Abigail!" Joey came running in and picked up the little girl and spun her around.

"Uncle Joey!" She gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"God, Monica! This house is gorgeous," Rachel said stepping inside and wiping her feet. 

"Thanks," Monica appeared in the hallway and leaned forward and gave Rachel a kiss on the cheek. The entire gang had never been out to Seattle, Monica and Chandler and the girls had always gone there. Joey and Phoebe were the only ones that had ever been out there, and that was because Joey was now an actor making good money, and often had to go to Los Angeles. 

"Hi Aunt Monica!" Emma gave her aunt a quiet hug. Whereas when Joey hugged Monica's girls, it was collision. They would throw themselves on top of each other. Chandler came in and hugs were exchanged and he led Ross and Joey with the bags to the rooms where they would be staying, and Monica led Rachel and Phoebe and the kids into the kitchen. Emma was Ross and Rachel's daughter, and she was followed by two boys: Ethan and Geoffrey. Geoff was the youngest at only two, and Ethan was four, exactly Lia's age. They were only a few months apart. Emma was a little older than Abby. Joey and Phoebe were married, but they had yet to have any kids. It was crazy, Monica mused. We all grew up. What happened to the six selfish individuals who spent all their time drinking coffee? That's right, we had kids, and got married, got new jobs and promotions. Chandler came into the kitchen and kissed Monica's cheek.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"Oh nothing, just how much we've all grown up."

"Oh. We have, haven't we?" She barely nodded. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled up at him. "I like where we've all ended up. Especially me. I especially like where I ended up." 

"Good," he gave her a quick kiss on the temple. "I'm very glad." 

__

She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

she gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

"So Monica, if you could change something with your life, what would you change?" Rachel asked. The adults sat in the living room with wine and a fire going. Monica shrugged. She had no idea how to answer that question. She wouldn't. That was the answer. She wouldn't do anything differently with her life. Chandler studied his wife. She had no idea how to answer that, he knew, and he also knew that he couldn't blame her. Not to say that they never fought, or never had any problems, they certainly did, but on the whole, neither could complain too much about their lives. Sure, Chandler left the seat up in the bathroom, Monica was still obsessive about cleaning, but they were happy. 

"I don't think I would," she answered honestly. 

"Come on, you wouldn't change anything if you were allowed to," Phoebe asked. "I find that hard to believe."

"No. Maybe have you guys closer," she shrugged. "That's about all I can think of to change." Phoebe studied her. She was being serious, Phoebe thought. She really wouldn't change her life. Not that Phoebe's was bad, but there were certainly things that she would change. 

"Okay," Phoebe said. Rachel nodded. The room fell silent. 

"So are you shooting a new movie soon Joe?" Ross asked and then the conversation picked up again. Chandler's hand traveled the short distance and found Monica's. He casually picked her hand up and held it in his. His eyes never wandered from Joey who was talking, until Monica turned her head and then he gave her a small smile. She gave a small smile back. No, he thought, I wouldn't change anything either. And I wouldn't want anything in my past to change. This is how it's supposed to be. We were supposed to go through that year separated for a reason. It just made me see that I couldn't possibly live without her in my life. Suddenly, Chandler Bing believed in fate. 

__

And I need her in the daytime 

and I need her in the night

and I want to throw my arms around her

kiss and hug her, kiss and hug her tight

Chandler was on a plane home from a business trip a few weeks later. He had talked to Monica and his girls before he took off, and now he couldn't wait to be home with them. And Monica said that there was something that they needed to talk about. He had an idea of what it could be, but he couldn't wait to get home to find out for sure. He glanced at his watch for what had to be the hundredth time.

"Going home?" The man in the seat next to him asked. Chandler looked at him again. The man looked vaguely familiar, as he if couldn't quite place where he knew him, but he knew that he knew him. 

"Yep, you?"

"No, I live in St. Louis. I have some business to take care of. I used to live there. I see that your married." Chandler glanced down at his wedding ring. 

"Yes I am. Have you ever seen Monica's Kitchen?" 

"Sure," the man nodded. "Wife watches it all the time."

"Well, Monica is my wife."

"The Monica? The one on the show?"

"Yep," Chandler nodded proud. He was waiting for the usual comment on how pretty she was, or how lucky he was. Things he already knew, but loved when people would tell him anyway. 

"I know where I know you from," the man suddenly said. "I used to date Monica." Chandler's head pieced it all together. He knew where he knew him from, this was the jerk that she was dating when he first came back. What was his name? Something with a C, right? Oh what was it. 

"Really?"

"Yeah, Christopher." Christopher ! That was it. "How is she?"

"She's good."

"Any kids?"

"Two girls. Abby and Lia I think she's pregnant again."

"Oh. Well, I guess say hi for me," Christopher was clearly finished with the conversation, as he turned his attention away from Chandler to look out the window. Chandler was hit with the impact of the knowledge that he had won the girl. He didn't think he'd ever own the girl , but he had in this case. And, oh, what a girl to win! He nodded to himself. Now he really couldn't wait to get home to her. 

The plane landed and standing amidst the crowd was his beaming wife.

`"Hey you," Chandler dropped the bag to gather her in his arms. 

"Hey yourself," she gave him a kiss. 

"Where are the girls?"

"At the neighbor's, I wanted to properly greet you myself," Monica told him giving him another kiss. "And tell you something."

"Does it have something to do with the reason that you were puking the entire week before I left?"

"How'd you know?"

"I'm amazing," he gave her another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said smiling at him. "Ready to go?"

"Absolutely, oh and Mon? You'll never believe who I sat next to on the plane." 

__

when I'm returning from so far away

gives me some sweet loving, brightens up my day

and it makes me righteous, and it makes me whole

and it makes me mellow right down to my soul

she gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

she gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love

~*That's it! Please review. I hope you liked the ending and didn't think it was too stupid. But review and tell me!~*

  
  
  
  



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